Day 20 Lordy, I Knead Help!

I’m making bread (it’s rising as we speak). Moroccan Bread with anise and sesame seeds. I know it's ironic, especially when “self-diagnosis” has found me “sensitive” to breads of any sort. I enjoyed working with the warm pliable dough and I’m guessing that a few calories were burned with every punch, poke and pull, but I won’t count them because I’m not sure it’s exactly cardio. I'm sure one hour of continuous kneading might count for something...but 10 minutes? No. However, with any luck those 10 minutes will build some much needed muscle in my flabby upper arms.

I will eat a piece…but just one…or maybe half...116 calories/slice. Not bad.

I’m making it for a dinner party tonight. Which brings up an entirely new topic. Eating out. The main course is Moroccan Chicken...hence the Moroccan bread. There’s no way to know how many calories are in the chicken. I’m not the one making it and I think it would be rude to ask or worse yet to poke around the cookbooks of my host hoping to find the nutritional info listed at the bottom of the recipe. I suppose this is where portion control comes in. One piece of chicken, preferably breast…a little sauce (I’m assuming it will be saucy)…a teeny tiny portion of couscous or whatever else he’s serving with it. Hopefully there will be veggies...or salad! That's it, I'll fill up on those!

As insane as this might sound, it sort of throws me off. Not knowing. I’m a little anal about following the rules. I like things to be exact. Perfect. I'm the girl that would rather rewrite an entire page than to leave it with a stroked out error. I’ve been so careful about calories and counting them...mentally doing the math as I plunk the numbers into my amazing iPod app. This is going to screw up my LoseIt log on my iPod! I’m going to have to guess at the calories! Arrgggh!!

So, I’m admitting to being worried...even when, deep down, I know I can do this. It shouldn't be that hard. I’m eating light through the day so that I can enjoy my dinner with "less" guilt. I might even have a little dessert if it’s not so ungodly fattening...just a small taste.

Think positive. I can do this! I will NOT let this bring me down. I will not consider it a “fail”. I’ll have a wonderful time tonight. I’ll enjoy the food and maybe even a small glass of wine and start anew tomorrow. This won’t be the last time I have to deal with something like this. Maybe this is my biggest challenge of all...coping...

'Til tomorrow! Wish me luck!