I'm having a pretty good week. A few cheats at work, but the scale still tells me I'm down and today my pants felt really loose. I know how easy that can change and sometimes I wonder when I'm standing there at work...in my baggy assed pants, feeling thinner than I really am, why I would even want to pop that peanut butter cookie sample into my mouth?
It's an age old question and god knows if I could come up with the answer to that, I'd be rich. If there were only a simple solution to why we cheat and how we can stop ourselves. Why do I have days where nothing at all can tempt me and other days when I know I shouldn't and still I do. I've never really thought of myself as an emotional eater, though I suppose at times I am. Mostly I think I eat when I'm bored and even more so when I'm tired. I often wonder if it's the sugar fix I need...that quick pick me up to get me over that "slump", only to find myself in an even bigger slump needing an even bigger fix.
I've been pretty good about keeping track of my calories...even so far as marking down those nasty morsels that pass my lips when no one is looking. Maybe I need to think about journaling my feelings...finding out why I have those glorious days filled with so much energy and enormous amounts of will power and why on other days I just eat without thinking.
The funny thing is that reading over what I've just written it all sounds so ridiculous. I do know. I know that eating that cookie bit sets me off on a day of non stop nibbling. That that same snacking causes me to feel so tired and being that tired throws any willpower I might have out out the window. I know it. I need to work on only one thing right now. Resisting that very first bite. I've done it before. If I can stop myself from putting that cookie into my mouth, then I don't have to fight with myself for the rest of the day. I don't have to continuously try to talk myself out of cheating....I only need to do it the one time. I have done it before. I've said no...I've walked away...and there isn't any better feeling in the world.
Tomorrow I'm stopping before I start...
5 hours ago